“TRUE LOVE IS A REAL HARD THING TO ACHIEVE THESE DAYS”

Sooooo I seriously had to talk about this because it really is something that bothers me, not frequently, but  it does come up more than often….the art of a guy “hollering” at a girl!!!  What’s the right method? Is there one?  Well anyways, I just thought I’d highlight ways NOT to holla at a chic if that’s ok with you!?! 

So here’s the thing….its is extremely inappropriate to come at somebody by whistling at them , making up some name according to what a girl is wearing , or BARKING..the barking is a NO-NO!!! So maybe if I can split my concerns down the line so that you all know where I stand….fair enough? (this shall be hilarious!!!)

RULES ON HOW NOT TO BE A DICKHEAD (lol @ the pic)

• Don’t you dare beep your car horn as I walk past your car and expect us to have a normal conversation without my foot up your ass! Instead you should probably say something like “Excuse me miss or Do you have a minute”..see I shouldn’t even be giving away suggestions on how to “mack!” Sheesh!
  

• If I am on the cell phone when I walk past you, don’t shout out your phone number because if I am actually talking to someone (which 95% of the time I am not..lol) I will not be inputting your damn number…so save your stank ass breathe! Instead say something sweet like …”Boy that person on the other line is lucky” and give a slight smile; however, this only works if you are cute as hell…lol
  

• If I don’t say hi to you and you get so sensititve that it drives  you to call me a “BITCH” or “WHORE”…I will just recommend you to the nearest Anger Management class or ask you “how dare you talk about your mother like that when she is not around?!?”
  

• Don’t forget to tell me the ring on your MARRIAGE finger is the one you got married with! And that you’re wife is innocently waiting at home for you with your 2 month old daughter and/or son……remember them?! Yeah..Yup…BYE!  Instead you should be upfront and honest, wait for my response (which will be ..What the fuck do I look like seeing a married man?) and thank me for my precious time! LOL
  

• Don’t ask me if I were a model because if I were I would clearly already have a man…right?  And a rich one at that!  Instead of this…JUST DON’T SAY ANYTHING because females are soooooooooo sick of that line too!  And believe you won’t be “gassing my head up”..I am confident not STUPID
  

• NEVER EVER EVER put your hands on me to get my attention…here are the reasons: 1)  I don’t know where your grubby ass hands have been! 2) I have no idea who the hell you are and if I am not getting ready to slip on a piece of ice then stay your ass 5 steps back! 3) Lastly, my kickboxing skills will come into effect so fast you won’t know what hit you!! TRUST!
  

• Lastly (and I will go on and on and on) If you do achieve getting a girl’s attention, why in all hell would you give her a fake cell phone number? How bitch is that?  Are you testing her?  This is soooo disappointing and explains why women keep it movin’!  OK..I AM DONE with this portion of this already too lengthy post!

MY DISLIKES

• Stop all those stupid pick up lines…THEY DON’T WORK AT ALL! … the dumbest one I heard recently was “Damn! If being sexy is a crime (yes he said “Crime”) You’d be guilty as charged!” …WHACK ASS ______!!!!!

• When I ask you what you do for a living…please don’t tell my ass that you are a (let’s run down the choices shall we)  ”producer”, ”rapper in the studio”; “manager”, or “musician” unless you can actually show real proof…and I mean CONSISTENT proof that this is how you make a LEGITIMATE living and that doesn’t mean you showing me your WALLET, it means be honest and you NEED MORE PEOPLE!!!!  GOT THAT? WE GOOD? because that SHIT honestly bugs the hell out of me….if you are just saying it to say it, it only tells me YOU MAKE NO MONEY and the voice in your head tells you that you can be the next big thing like NAS or JAY!!!  AND YOU’RE OBVIOUSLY NOT EVEN CLOSE!! don’t want to shoot your dreams down, but just keepin’ it FUNKY!! Also, what’s more insulting is if I hear your music and its WHACK…the reality of your dream is little to none!!!!!!!!!!  SO DEAD ALL THAT TALK ABOUT…. “I’m THE NEXT BIG THING” …because I will PLAY YOU…I can not be more serious right now!!!!! like really!
  

• NO MUSCLE SHIRTS IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANY!?!..how simple is that to ask for!
  

• HOW DARE YOU LIVE WITH YOUR MOMS PAST THE AGE OF 31!!!!!!!!  Ok so maybe its alright but not if you are literally MOOCHING off of her and asking for money, or asking her to do your laundry, YOU MIGHT AS WELL MOVE THE HELL OUT AND DO THOSE THINGS YOURSELF RIGHT? SO Get off that babyboy mentality please!!!!  If you are not familiar with the babyboy mentality…please watch the movie starring Tyrese..you’ll know what I mean…
  

• Avoid terms like “Shawty”, “Smashing”, or “Heavy Rotation”   because you’ve lost me ALREADY!!! and you should already assume you are not on my level (don’t mean to sound like a cocky chic but a girl definitely has standards and I work too hard to  be caught dead with a dumb dude!)
  

• Don’t ever ask me to pick you up from JAIL or a CLINIC!!! (I totally have that WTF look on my face too..lol)…..yes I’ve been asked that! seriously
  

• TELL THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT!!! My reason for this statement is this:  I once dated someone who lied to me about his kid! (Shayna Smith…if you are reading this, please contain your laughter because I know I am currently rolling on the floor dying of the comedy!!!!!!!!!!) ok..where was I?  I dated a young man who is actually pretty well known in the streets who conveniently FORGOT to tell me he had a son of elementary school age and well guess how I found out???????????  I found the child hidden in the bathtub in the bathroom!!!!  YEAH THAT’S RIGHT THE BATHTUB….I will give yall time to change your pants as you’ve just pissed in them from laughing so damn hard!!
  

• IF YOU HANG OUT WITH THIS ONE DUDE in your clique of friends more than you want to chill with me….we got to talk FAST!  No he is not your best friend…he’s your BUTT friend!?!…you ALL know what I mean…no further explanation is needed at’all!
  

• Lastly (because I could go on forever…I’ve seen it all), don’t compare me to your mom!!! then I will feel like I have to magically transform into the woman..or its a competition of how much day by day I could be do something similar to her!  That totally freaks me out! Especially if the references to her are FREQUENT and by frequent I mean…every 5 minutes of the day!  (this stems from years of seeing mama’s boys!!!)
  

 WHAT I AM LOOKING FOR IN A MAN!?!?! 

• Have respect for your mother…your entire family really!!!!
  

• Do you wash your behind, brush your teeth, have all of your teeth?
  

• AMBITION should have been the first thing I wrote down..I must be slippin’, but yes..this is a ++++++++!!!!
  

• Let’s define AMBITION:  HAVE SOMETHING GOING ON FOR YOURSELF THAT YOU WHOLE HEARTEDLY BELIEVE IN!!!  ITS A GOAL THAT WILL BE FULFILLED NOT A DREAM YOU ARE CHASING!!!! Do you get it????????????????????????????
  

• BE ABLE TO READ…this is not a joke because I’ve been lied to about this skill as well (SMH-shaking my head)
  

• I am going to sound like a typical female…hold on let me re-phrase…typical ranchy gaudy female when I say this but:  PLEASE HAVE YOUR OWN CAR!! I am not and will never be your TAXI/CHAUFFEUR unless we are married and share a car and even then you should have your shit together! Enough said
  

• DO I SOUND PICKY YET? MIND YOU..I AM NOT SINGLE! LOL so you probably think that my boo has it tough…and he will proudly tell you..NO I REALLY DON’T…THIS CHIC IS OFFICIAL! Right baby?  (giggles)
  

• You know the saying already…your health is your wealth!  Be in tune with it…Go to your doctor regularly..get tested, eat right, and work out…let’s do it together!!! Is that too much to ask?
  

• Have a sexual appetite too!! A healthy one..meaning …its not necessary to “do the do” everyday, but you should want to…we can come to a decent negotiation! LOL how does 4 times a week sound?  LMAOOOOO….Let me stop!
  

• Lastly (this post is seriously long enough) Let’s motivate each other everyday of our lives together whether that’s saying “I love you” encouraging each other in our careers, etc…communicating is way to important to neglect.  I learned the hard way before and I am getting better day by day